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Intimacy Issues For New Parents

Intimacy Issues For New Parents

After childbirth the body undergoes a healing process to return the mother’s body back to a state of normalcy, but the body is still working harder than it used to, with lactation, healing of tissues (especially from cesarean section) and the elasticity of the pelvic area returning to whatever normal or the new normal is for the mother.

While waking life is surely different, so are sleeping patterns. As a couple adjusts to the newborn being a priority, other things naturally adjust in the hierarchy of needs. In other cultures, a woman that gives birth transitions from a sexual being to strictly a mother. Sex in Japan between married couples happens less than any other country in the world (highest number of sexless marriages) meaning once per month or less. Here in America there is an expectation that sex and marital satisfaction will be consistent, but the reality is that marital satisfaction drops when a child is born and doesn’t go up again until the child is out of the home.

A couple must work hard to ensure that there is open communication about intimacy to keep that a priority. That burden is not only on the mother dealing with the physical and emotional transition of being pregnant to motherhood and co-parenting. The father can help ease a mother’s transition by being supportive and attentive to the mother.

Throwing out the typical gender roles and creating an egalitarian household will lessen the burdens on the mother, making her emotional state less stressed with the worries of the day. Happy wife, happy life. The father and mother need to make time to reconnect and the mother needs to know that she is still as attractive to the father as she was before. If the mother is feeling insecure, she should share that instead of holding it back.

Dr. Ethan Gregory

Written for SheKnows.com

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http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

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Just The Sex Tips

Just The Sex Tips

Two quick tips for getting some variety back in the relationship.

 

1. Get out of town. Both partners should find something to do within 100 miles of town that they could drive to or a day trip, but still be back at night if they can’t afford to stay over because of kids or financial circumstances. Most every town in America has at least one claim to fame, and it doesn’t matter what that is, just getting out of the usual date night routines should be enough to give the couple something to look forward to. Keeping the location secret until they get close would make it even more fun for the other partner. Stopping on the way home for quickie would bring the day trip to an exciting conclusion.

 

2. This one might be for the more open-minded couples, but if a couple has never watched pornography together, they should give it a try. Picking randomly from the vast assortment available can eliminate any awkwardness of choice, but the conversations that the vids might spark can lead to some experimenting, new doors being opened, and a new batch of inside jokes for the couple.

 

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

This article was for sheknows.com

Image credit here

Tips to show Authentic Appreciation For Your Partner

Tips to show Authentic Appreciation For Your Partner

As a relationship and dating expert I have advised men and women to recognize the difference between romance, validation, and appreciation. The items you can buy to show love might seem romantic to some, but the stereotype of a valentine’s day might be too surface level to a woman looking for signs a man appreciates her being part of his life.

 

As a psychologist I come from a behavioral background. I see actions speaking much louder than words. A woman wants to feel loved consistently, and to be shown that they are a priority to their partners. Roses smell nice, but they don’t cover up for being a stinky partner most of the time. If a partner feels that they have the resources to give gifts to show thoughtfulness, they might also be using money to substitute for being more connected to their partner.

 

A partner that understands the type of ways their woman wants to be appreciated will never go wrong. Taking the time to communicate daily, share compliments, and to maintain intimacy within a relationship will keep the union stronger than a box of chocolates can accomplish. When I am in a relationship or advising others, I recommend using purchases sparingly to show love, because it sets a bad precedent. Taking care of the details regularly is one key to my approach to life, the Ethan Gregory Approach.

 

A partner must use familiarity with their partner to extract what her needs are, then meet them as often as possible. The details are where a partner earns their respect. Appreciating the uniqueness of our partners makes women feel that they are the only one getting that kind of treatment, and only intimacy and “real” quality time can create that bond. Random gifts to show appreciation are wonderful, but just as gentle reminders, not as substitute for the hard work of maintaining a great relationship.

 

In my opinion, a partner shows love through being present emotionally, through actions that anticipate needs, and allowing their woman to shine by supporting her however she needs. Not all partners are practiced at the art of appreciation. A woman must use that psychology of rewarding the good behaviors, and creating a consequence for the ones we want to eliminate.

 

Open communication early on about what makes her feel appreciated will go a long way in helping a partner do better. If we do not state our needs, we cannot expect our partners to change. Setting rules for gifting might help create a level playing field and eliminate grand gestures.

 

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

 

This article was for Women’s Health

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