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Bucket Lists Keep Couples Together

Bucket Lists Keep Couples Together

 

A couple that creates common goals is also making an emotional investment in their future together. Having joint goals builds a team mentality that can help smooth over the minor conflicts that occur over time. Like any shard vision or goal for the future, it does not have much meaning unless there is progress towards the goal.

When life gets in the way too often, that bucket list can eventually become a list of disappointments and unmet expectations weighing on the relationship. A couple should set a schedule for their excursions and bucket list items, so they remain a priority. That will keep the couple looking forward to something, and allow them to refocus attention to strengthening their bond. The partner that supports the goals of their loved one will reap benefits of sharing in the joy of their partner’s accomplishments, and might also gain some appreciation for why a bucket list item is important.

The more variety that goes into the bucket, the better. Different bucket list items will bring variety to the couple’s future, and can create some meaningful communication when the list is planned. Of course, if we are in the early stages of a relationship and trying this activity, things like kids, marriage, and relocations might need to be addressed before the couple commits to one another long term. 

When creating a joint bucket list, it may make sense to create some categories. Are there things that can be accomplished locally or over a weekend? Those can be done as drops in the bucket list. Seeing the world wonders might take several years and multiple trips, and that can go as an annual goal to accomplish. There is nothing saying that there can’t be relationship goals or family goals in the bucket as well. A couple should try to make their bucket list something to enjoy and work on consistently. There could even be penalties for missing a bucket list goal deadline. Maybe some extra savings or chore task can be included as a penalty. The only bad bucket list is one that stays full.     

Dr. Ethan Gregory

Written for The Chicago Tribune

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

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Problems For Perfectionists

Problems For Perfectionists

As a counselor for children and families working with international schools, I have my share of perfectionists and those that demand perfection. There is a marked difference in the people that carry the stress of perfection with them compared to others. Higher anxiety towards daily tasks can create physical tension, sleeplessness, depression, and low-self esteem. When perfection borders on obsessiveness, it leads to a combination of physical and mental issues that could require medication and therapy.

 

Reading up on the basics of cognitive-behavioral interventions to reduce anxiety will give some insights into helping perfectionists. Having outside help to let us know that something is good enough can help us change our thoughts about our actions to be more reality based. If we have tasks in our life, we could assign a time to finish and submit it before it can become something to obsess over. Taking time to recognize our triggers for perfectionism and to adjust our frame of mind to understand that our belief might not match the reality is part of conquering any obsessive behavior.

 

Perfectionism is often something that is encouraged by a parent figure with good intentions. It doesn’t take a tiger mom to make a child feel that good isn’t good enough. It can happen in sports activities and academics. Once a child believes they have to do more than what is required, that behavior often carries into adulthood. Without balance in our life our obsessions can become the motivation for how we act.

My pitch (didn't make the final article) Written for medicaldaily

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http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

5 Habits of Successful People

5 Habits of Successful People

When we look at who is most successful in life, we tend to see the examples in media of wealthy CEO’s, athletes, or celebrities that seem to have the world at their fingertips. For us regular people looking at them thinking about what their life might be like, we see the outcome, but rarely consider the grind that these folks must go through (or went through) to get to the status that they earned. The blue collar worker that puts in a hard day at work and relaxes when they get home might be just as tired as the white collar worker, but the most successful people at all economic levels have something in common; they do more.

We all want to be successful at the things we do, and we as humans strive to stay occupied. For some, just maintaining a life with comfort is enough. The barriers to mega success might be too much, or the ambition to achieve might not be there for those that are fine with things the way they are. For the most driven if life, the motivation to achieve whatever is possible keeps them going beyond when most people would quit. Everyone in the world shares some universal truths.

The day is only 24 hours. The maximizers have found a way to use as much of that time as needed to achieve their next goal. Brian Tracy, author of Eat That Frog, states that people should tackle their hardest objective first, then set off on their less time consuming tasks. When we practice successful time management, we can see the day open up to us, allowing us to add goals for new projects to advance our lives however we see fit.

Ambitious people are driven and able to sacrifice some comfort for their other goals. Waking up early is important if we are manipulating our day to fit our needs. Those that seek one form of success will often want to match that in other aspects of life.

Fitness to help the body stay regulated and capable of achieving the goals a person has for themselves. Without that workout, the required energy might not exist for the individual. Working out is a time sucker, and sometimes literally a pain, so knocking it out at a regimented time early in the day saves the time later and activates the body to be ready for a full day.

I know some writers that set an early alarm and force themselves to write 1000 words before they can start their day. This dedication and sacrifice is what propels the people most of us envy as we watch TV or read for entertainment.

To truly be maximizing our potential or reach our ambitions, we have to neglect other aspects of our life that might be safe, relaxing, or help build a stronger family and friendships.

This was a pitch written for GoBankingRates, the final article can be found here. My words didn't make it, but some of my ideas did.

 

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

 

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