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empowerment

 Use Sunday to Empower Your Weekdays

Use Sunday to Empower Your Weekdays

I am currently an overseas trainer working to make a private education company more productive and increasing accountability for their workers. My best advice I would give someone preparing for another grueling workweek ahead is to get as much prep-work done while you don’t have the time pressure of a workday.

Keeping a monthly plan broken down into weekly objectives and even daily objectives will outline the work ahead and help the individual prioritize short term and long term needs. Just like teacher lesson plans, a corporate worker can outline their days for the week ahead and use reminders with their smart phone app of choice or online calendars to remind them when pressing issues need to be addressed.

On the home front, Sunday is a great day to cook ahead for the week. Not just bodybuilders and busy moms are now using their Tupperware to store dinners and lunches. To work hard and stay healthy we should be putting the right kind of things in our body. If we are on a budget, having our lunch made at home might save us from the peer pressure of an expensive business lunch with the coworkers. If you are the type to stand in front of your closet and stare at your clothes hoping something comes to mind each morning, then use Sunday to order your shirt and pants in a row for the next week of workdays. Come Monday morning, you can sleep in an extra 10 minutes knowing you don’t have to worry about what tie or skirt to wear, because you have them ready to go.

Sunday is the day to set the TiVo or download those movies for date night this week. Also, if you don’t want to get the guilt trip for not calling home during the week, go ahead and set a time each Sunday to call mom or dad or grandparents. You will start your week guilt free. I adhere to the six P’s; prior planning prevents piss poor performance.

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

This articles was created for Fast Company

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Women Intimidating Men, Never Settle!

Women Intimidating Men, Never Settle!

The following is a pitch I made to a reporter looking to answer these questions: How can a woman stop intimidating men, whether by her looks, or her behavior, or both, without changing who she is? What types of personalities tend to intimidate men? What types of personalities do not? I think this is the article, I was not mentioned in it.

The idea that a woman should change herself to fit a certain type of man is perpetuating a concept that women somehow need to bow down or hide aspects of their personality to accommodate a man. A modern woman might intimidate a man, but it is the man that needs to change their perspective on what modern women are really like. That said, when a woman and man do not match closely in what I call the dating economy (she is a 10, he is a 6) that can cause jealousy and insecurity for that man. It is the same when the sexes/genders are reversed. When we are playing out of our league, we tend to struggle with security.

There are some men that are not comfortable dating a woman is much taller, but that also comes from the man’s insecurity. A woman should do her best to date a partner that appreciates her physically and accepts her personality. The submissive woman might stay under a partners radar and help him feel secure, but if that is not natural for a woman, she should never act in contradiction to her authentic self. In other cultures women that attempt stereotypical “male” jobs have a problem finding a partner due to the social stigma of having a partner that is equal or surpasses them professionally. That is less so in America, but obviously in the workplace things are not quite equal here.

If women let men off the hook by changing their behavior, how will male culture ever adapt to having women as equals or superiors? For women that feel that they are too intimidating, they need to build up their self-esteem and keep looking for a partner that will appreciate them. Never settle.

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

 

Spark Lasting Change

Spark Lasting Change

I believe a person that is looking to make a change for the better should start with looking at the motivation for their behavior. In the psychology profession we look at changes coming from external or internal motivations. Those actions that come from internal motivation tend to outlast those that come from others or the world around us. For example, I might choose some better eating habits if I really want to focus on my health, but if I am using the media as my mirror, I would fall into the bad habits as I realize I am not really ready to make those changes. Trying to please others is another poor choice to make changes.

My second biggest change that costs very little is to eliminate the toxic relationships in your life. By assessing the relationships that make us feel worse, or do not bring us closer to our ideal self, we can start being more authentic and live a healthier life.

Any behavior change we take on should be from the perspective that we cannot be good for others until we are good for ourselves. Looking at the barriers we have to self-acceptance and reaching our potential can set us up for success.

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

  

After the Love Has Gone

After the Love Has Gone

The 911 of the week

My relationship ended last month and I haven’t been able to clear my head of what went wrong. My ex and I had been together for a few years off and on. Each time we broke up it was because she felt trapped in the relationship and wanted to see what else was out there for her. Now she is saying that she doesn’t love me the way she used to. I wasn’t always the most considerate boyfriend while we were together and I might have helped to push her away. She says that I am her best friend and she wants me in her life. How do I get all of this off of my mind, and should I try and win her back?    

Dear Mr. Groundhog Day,

Breaking up is hard. Being left is even harder. Being a man being left is the hardest. By virtue of having a penis we are gendered to believe that we are in control of our lives and anything negative happening to us is our fault(just ask our girlfriends). The sad part about your situation is that it is your fault. You didn’t intend to be in this situation, but there are actions that occurred previous to when your relationship ended this last time that could have been avoided. Love makes people do terrible things to themselves, and sometimes to others. You can feel better knowing that your relationship didn’t end when you broke up a few weeks ago.

Your girlfriend has been out of the relationship since way back when she broke up with you the first time. When a person says that they do not want to be in a relationship they mean it. More specifically they mean that they do not want to be in a relationship with the person they are with. The mistake you made was to take her back after the second break up. There is a saying; if you love something set it free, if it comes back it’s meant to be. Life doesn’t always work out like that. Your girl might have meant to be single and to date other dudes while she grew as a person, but she probably just had a few one-night stands and drank a lot of red wine with her girlfriends.

When she got lonely, she went where she felt comfortable, which was with you because you love her and you are safe for her. That is why she says you are her best friend. You are her best friend because I bet if she treated anyone over the past few years the way that she treated you she wouldn’t have any other friends. Your love for her kept you making the same bad choices to keep her in your life. You can regret that, or you can be proud of yourself for being loyal to a person and forgiving someone (something some people never do). Now you find yourself in a position to stand up for your pride as well as grow as an individual.

You have been infected with a virus for a long time, and the only antidote is to remove this tumor from your heart and life space. If she can keep you as a friend, then she can receive the benefit of you in her life, and date other people. You need to delete her number from your phone, block her on social media, and stop receiving texts from her. Let her feel what it is like to truly live without you. You are the man! You will find a hot chick with less issues and lower self esteem that will fill up that space your ex girlfriend created. If you put in a little work over the next few weeks and months you can then decide to let your ex back into your life as friends only.

Do not let loneliness be your life coach. Mr. Lonely will have you repeating the same patterns. Make an effort to go out and enjoy life, pick up a new hobby or an old one. Stay busy, and don’t close yourself off to anyone but your ex. She expects you to be there for her when she feels like shit. When she feels like that, treat her like one and flush her away (at least for the next few months). A good book about breaking it off completely is Its Called a Breakup Because it's Broken, by Greg Behrendt. Best of luck, remember that you matter most!

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

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