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arousal

How to Increase Your Chances of Having Sleep Orgasms

How to Increase Your Chances of Having Sleep Orgasms

Sleep related female orgasms have been studied infrequently, but Kinsey had a study in the 1950’s that included sleep orgasms. It might be impossible to find a reliable way to encourage the event, just like hoping to not have a nightmare does not guarantee we won’t.

If you are taking care of your sexual needs in your waking hours, you have an opportunity to have a sleep orgasm as well. Women that have sexual intercourse or masturbate, can achieve orgasm, and have a healthy attitude towards sexuality may be more likely to have sleep orgasms. If you do not practice masturbation, and your views of female sexuality are more conservative, sexual thoughts may not be as prevalent in your sleeping hours.

Some research suggests that sexing before bed might kick start the sleep orgasm, as if your body is still riding the orgasm wave once you zonk out. If you tend to have vivid dreams, you might be able to influence your dream by watching, reading, or doing something sexual. Every woman is a snowflake, so it is nearly impossible to forecast a sleep orgasm.

The best chance to achieve a wet dream for yourself is to make it rain before bed and sleep in your goulashes. There is a woman that did her dissertation on SRFO’s, her name is Franceen King (Google her).

Dr. Ethan Gregory

Written for Women’s Health

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

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Sexy Tongue Tricks to Arouse Your Partner

Sexy Tongue Tricks to Arouse Your Partner

 

I have been learning techniques to enhance the arousal for both partners for over 15 years now. One of the best tips for the tongue that I have ever heard of and utilized came from one of the first books I read about sexual techniques back in 1999. In the book Sexational Secrets by Susan Crain Bakos, I was introduced to the concept of sensate focus.

This is something that most people might breeze over during their foreplay and lovemaking, but when given its proper due, it can really enhance the feelings for partners. The idea is that we should be waking up the nerve endings along our skin, adding to the sensations that we feel.

A partner that is using their fingers to ease their way up a leg, zigzagging and looping around to have their partner unsure of where the next soft touch will be coming from. Then to go from just a light touch arousing the skin, using the tongue to help create a hot/cold sensation can really build anticipation for where that tongue might go next as we make our way to the more traditional erogenous zones.

A round the neck, breasts, inner thighs and hipbone areas, use the tip of our tongue to wet the area slightly after we blow warm air gently on those spots as we kiss around. Think of the tongue riding the magic carpet of warm air.  Then go back a bit and blow a narrow mouthed stream of air over the licked area. That should create the cold sensation after the warm tongue kisses, and will be a nice treat for your partner.

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

 

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Article written for sheknows.com

How to Boost Your Libido Today

How to Boost Your Libido Today

I wrote this piece for Brides.com asking for top tips on how new brides and married women can boost their libidos. Again, my words didn't make the cut. So you tell me, who wrote it better? 

Restarting the fires for a couple seems like a daunting task, especially when the coals have been out for some time. New brides should be filled with the positive energy and adrenaline of the new chapter in their lives, but I can see how modern marriages are often the continuation of a long relationship and engagement before the wedding day, and things can settle back to normal pretty quickly after the honeymoon.

Helen Fisher, in her TED talk about love and the brain relayed a story about a build up of adrenaline causing the brain to start thinking romantic feelings for someone. (Check out the talk if you have not seen it). Anything that builds some fear and gets the heart rate going increases testosterone, which helps with arousal in both women and men. A date where the couple exercises together or a scary movie night should get the blood flowing.

One trick that couples therapists use to help couples that have been having problems related to intimacy is to tell them that they should not be having sex for a certain amount of time. This creates a feeling of naughtiness and taboo, and the couples usually end up breaking the rule, building back some intimacy, and feeling more connected. The key to any sustained relationship is communication.

If sexual needs are falling behind mundane tasks, the couple needs to reconnect. A scheduled date night without the kids would help. Even one night set in stone for the couple to take turns creating an evening where the spouse is unaware of what will happen can show creativity, build suspense, and can show love.

If a couple can accommodate consistent moments where they can surprise one another, that should help spark those flames for years to come. A great example of this is the Valentines Day ritual that Claire and Phil from Modern Family have where they assume identities and leave the house to play out a fantasy. Stepping out of the comfort zone is crucial to keeping passion in a long relationship. 

 

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

 

photo credit: Getty images

male and female arousal

male and female arousal

Vaso-congestion (blood flow into the genitals) takes place in both men and women, the spongy tissues that help erect the penis and engorge the vagina happens almost immediately as stimulation commences. The vagina can start lubricating less than 30 seconds after thinking about the upcoming sensations and before sexual stimulation begins. Of course, there is a vast difference from physical arousal and emotional readiness for sex. You may have heard of cases of rape where the body has a reaction to penetrative sex, and many men can recall moments during puberty where an ill-timed erection made things awkward.

The concept of sexual arousal beginning in the brain is true; hormones influence the physical reactions our bodies maintain. Once the bodies are physically prepared for sex, the friction and pleasurable sensations build in our genitals until arousal is at its peak, then orgasm occurs. In both men and women with strong muscles, orgasms do not have to end the sex act. Men that practice and strengthen their pubic muscles can orgasm without ejaculation. They can continue to engage in intercourse without a refractory period.

Men are capable of quick arousal and orgasm. Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and even with physical arousal, emotional investment in the sex act is an important factor for their ability to orgasm.

 

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

www.facebook.com/drethangregory

Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

 

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