The following is a pitch I made to a reporter looking to answer these questions: How can a woman stop intimidating men, whether by her looks, or her behavior, or both, without changing who she is? What types of personalities tend to intimidate men? What types of personalities do not? I think this is the article, I was not mentioned in it.

The idea that a woman should change herself to fit a certain type of man is perpetuating a concept that women somehow need to bow down or hide aspects of their personality to accommodate a man. A modern woman might intimidate a man, but it is the man that needs to change their perspective on what modern women are really like. That said, when a woman and man do not match closely in what I call the dating economy (she is a 10, he is a 6) that can cause jealousy and insecurity for that man. It is the same when the sexes/genders are reversed. When we are playing out of our league, we tend to struggle with security.

There are some men that are not comfortable dating a woman is much taller, but that also comes from the man’s insecurity. A woman should do her best to date a partner that appreciates her physically and accepts her personality. The submissive woman might stay under a partners radar and help him feel secure, but if that is not natural for a woman, she should never act in contradiction to her authentic self. In other cultures women that attempt stereotypical “male” jobs have a problem finding a partner due to the social stigma of having a partner that is equal or surpasses them professionally. That is less so in America, but obviously in the workplace things are not quite equal here.

If women let men off the hook by changing their behavior, how will male culture ever adapt to having women as equals or superiors? For women that feel that they are too intimidating, they need to build up their self-esteem and keep looking for a partner that will appreciate them. Never settle.

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist