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Third Wheel Motion

Third Wheel Motion

The 911 of the week

My problem is that my girlfriend’s sister (who lacks real friends) is constantly trying to be in competition with me. She disagrees with everything I say or tries and piss me off. As shameful as it is sometimes I let it get me mad. The other problem is that she is constantly around. My girlfriend now brings her everywhere with us. Sometimes I feel like it’s because my girl thinks I'm boring or maybe my girl feels sorry for her sister. Regardless, it’s really awkward when her sister is always around. I have to bite my tongue on so many things and it’s just really annoying. And when I say something about it, my girl is just like "Why do you have a problem with me hanging out with my sister?" And that’s incredibly annoying. So how would you suggest I deal with this?

Dear Babysitters Club,

I understand your frustration about having a third wheel on all of your dates. It really sucks that the wheel is a squeaky knobby thing that disrupts the balance within your relationship. The problem is not easily solved and will take showing restraint from your wanting to tell off the sister to go to hell and to not alienate you from your girlfriend. The next time you have alone time with the girlfriend you can express that you appreciate how important her sister is to her and that you fully support her having quality time together with her. Then you tell her that you miss the quality time between the two of you and that you feel like you can’t be yourself when the little sister is around. Tell your girlfriend how much you enjoy showing her affection and flirting with her, discussing intimate details when you two are together. Let her know that you respect her sister and do not want to make her feel uncomfortable by expressing that while she is around. Make sure that you use the right words to explain your feelings. Do not say anything negative about the sister to your girlfriend. That will create a wedge between you and your girlfriend.

Tell your sweetheart that you understand why she brings her sister around and that you can handle her in moderation but that both you and her sister deserve to have alone time with her. If that doesn’t work it is time to kill her with kindness. You are going to date her younger sister. While you are all together you are to invest your emotional energy in the sister. Ask her deep questions about her beliefs and her interests, her love life, what she wants to be in the future.  Eventually your girlfriend will get jealous or feel like you are not paying her enough attention when the three of you are around. She will stop bringing the sister around to make herself feel better and to have more of your energy devoted to her. Either way the problem is solved. Until that happens, try not to kill the sister. Best of luck, remember that you matter most!


Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

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