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beauty

As Daughters Mature, Mothers Reflect on Their Own Beauty

As Daughters Mature, Mothers Reflect on Their Own Beauty

When a daughter goes through puberty, it is only natural for a mother to feel concern for what’s to come. Often teen girls align with their opposite sex parent during their teen years, a change from their childhood when they identify strongly with their same sex parent. That transition can be difficult for the mother, and there can be some conflicts that may stem from insecurity that the mother is losing some part of the special relationship she shared with her in years past.

Mothers may use consumerism as a way to secure quality time with their daughters if they can afford to do so. Seeing a daughter go “solo” might be an early sign of what is to come with college, relationships, and independence from the family unit. Mothers that live vicariously through their daughters will have a hard time separating from their daughters, especially if they feel that they are reliving their own glory years through their daughter.

Mothers should celebrate their daughter’s developmental milestones internally, and support their child with unconditional love. If jealousy and control are interfering with the relationship, taking form in passive aggression, the child will pick up on that and use it against a parent when power struggles occur. A mother that is able to balance their concern and pride for their daughter while coming to terms with their own maturation will be a wonderful role model for their daughters.

A daughter viewing their mother as a role model is not well served by having an insecure parent holding on to the last bits of their physical youth to match their teen daughter.         

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Written for The Washington Post

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess

Looks for Tinder dates

Looks for Tinder dates

In September I answered a pitch about different looks for Tinder dates. I tried to give some perspective, but my words didn't make the cut. To see the final article at MIMI, click here.

I wanted to add some expert advice to your column. I think that any woman that is on a first date in person after meeting on a dating site should look to match their profile pics as closely as possible. The partner may only have the perception of you that your photos create. Try to at least match the color of one of your photos online. If you appear quite different from your profile, your date will be wondering what else might be misleading about you. If you see something in your date's profile that you can bring like a certain beer label or food type, you can win major brownie points for bringing a little ice breaker gift of that item. I hope this helps.

http://www.drethangregory.com

@drethangregory

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Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

 

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