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Buy A Personality, Not A Drink

Buy A Personality, Not A Drink

The reader 911 of the week:

When I am out in a bar or social gathering I notice that the girls I talk to seem to lose interest in me soon after I approach them. When I meet them I introduce myself, buy them a drink, and I think I have a good personality. Why is it that the only ones that seem to keep the conversation going are the ones I lose interest in?    

Dear Mr. Buy You A Drink,

As long as women have been aloud in drinking establishments for anything other than working as a floor sweeper or a lady of the night, men have been buying drinks for them. It might seem like a harmless gesture and an act of chivalry, but I think between us two, we know the true meaning of supplying a woman with a drink is to help her lose the inhibition she had to talk to you in the first place.

During my social research days I noticed the same women working new men every 15 minutes to get a free drink. These drink divas are often pretty, but shallow as a puddle on a hot city day. When you play into the drink cliché you are actually doing more harm than good for your future with that woman. You aren’t buying a stranger guy a drink before you start talking to him about the game, and you shouldn’t do it for a stranger girl either. When you use money to provide something to a stranger (even a drink) you are establishing yourself as a person that uses money to try and get your way or provide for the woman. When you trick your cash for a girl, they might milk you for it, and then leave with the guy they wanted from the start.

Before you buy that next appletini, keep your money in your pocket and pull out that good personality instead. When you have created a rapport with the girl then you can split rounds. Using this method will weed out the gold diggers and you can then survey your options from there. If you are lucky you might end up with a 2 for 1 special of looks and personality. Anything other than that and you are just happy hour for a selfish lady. Best of luck, remember that you matter most!


Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess


Image credit here

New Feelings for an Old Flame

New Feelings for an Old Flame

The 911 of the week:

I reconnected with an old friend (a girl) that I haven’t seen in ten years. I have a girlfriend and there is nothing wrong with her, but now I cannot stop thinking about this old friend. We live close enough to see each other in person and I have been tempted to set up a meeting. Should I set up a date with the old friend or let it go?

Dear Mr. Back to the Future,

There is a strong psychological reason for you thinking about jumping ship and running off with the blast from the past. When we reconnect with a person that we knew long ago, the memory of them and you from that time comes back and clouds your judgment. For most of us, there is a fondness for when we were more innocent and maybe we see our former self as more authentic. It is possible that the girl from yesterday knows you better and in a different way than your girlfriend might. A good way to keep things in perspective is to think about all the ways that you have changed since you last saw this girl. Think of all the bad choices you made and all the women you put yourself inside before meeting your current girlfriend. Now imagine that girl doing all the bad things you have done. Who is the better catch now?

To see if you are mature enough to meet this person without diving into a hot knew you since middle school sexual affair, I have a test for you. Tell your girlfriend that you connected with a friend from way back, and explain the feelings you are having to her. Invite her to meet the friend with you. If that doesn’t sound like a great idea, then it is not a good idea to meet his girl. If you want to have a pen pal then by all means, keep in touch. Since I am not just a cockblocking advice columnist, here is me throwing you a bone. If you are over your girlfriend and ready to cheat and or break up with her anyway go an ahead and have a play date with the old friend. Be a gentleman and keep your peepee out of her veevee until you can assess old news and officially break it off with current events. Best of luck, remember that you matter most!


Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

photo credit here