I have been learning techniques to enhance the arousal for both partners for over 15 years now. One of the best tips for the tongue that I have ever heard of and utilized came from one of the first books I read about sexual techniques back in 1999. In the book Sexational Secrets by Susan Crain Bakos, I was introduced to the concept of sensate focus.

This is something that most people might breeze over during their foreplay and lovemaking, but when given its proper due, it can really enhance the feelings for partners. The idea is that we should be waking up the nerve endings along our skin, adding to the sensations that we feel.

A partner that is using their fingers to ease their way up a leg, zigzagging and looping around to have their partner unsure of where the next soft touch will be coming from. Then to go from just a light touch arousing the skin, using the tongue to help create a hot/cold sensation can really build anticipation for where that tongue might go next as we make our way to the more traditional erogenous zones.

A round the neck, breasts, inner thighs and hipbone areas, use the tip of our tongue to wet the area slightly after we blow warm air gently on those spots as we kiss around. Think of the tongue riding the magic carpet of warm air.  Then go back a bit and blow a narrow mouthed stream of air over the licked area. That should create the cold sensation after the warm tongue kisses, and will be a nice treat for your partner.




Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist and I’m Sorry, You are Not a Disney Princess


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Article written for sheknows.com