The 911 of the week:

I see some definite signs that my best friend's fiancé isn't ready for the next step. Should I say something? I think we could have a heart-to-heart conversation about it except that recently I've been getting a strange feeling that she's worried about me being a lonely single. I don't want to her to think I'm suggesting a wedding postponement out of envy. Any suggestions? 

Dear Ms. Best Friend’s Wedding,

I see that you are in a tight spot if you say something to your friend, as she might be one of those "married is the only way to be" after a certain age, and she might not be so receptive to that heart to heart. You can bring it up as a question, "how does he show he's ready, what are some of the changes you see from when you first met....that type of girl talk. Beyond that it will seem that you are pushing for her to think about things.

She may already see the same things you do, but if she is willing to go through with things, you have to be as well. As long as he isn't beating her, doing drugs, or sleeping with other people, you are going to have to be there to support her through the good times and bad, sickness and health, till they get divorced or you stop caring. As the best friend, we are there to support the good decisions and lessen the fallout from the bad ones. When it comes to this one, let her find out the hard way, just don't tell her "I told you so" if it doesn't happen. 

You are a good friend for wanting to open her eyes, but sometimes we don't listen to those that are too close to us, because we don't want to hear what they are saying, and how it might be right. It will be better for both of you if she loses a husband then if you lose a friend. Best of luck, remember you matter most!


Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist

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