The reader 911 of the week:
My best friend got divorced last year, and she has a five year old son that she has custody of. The father/ex husband lives across the country, but for the last few months, people have seen him around our town. He just wrote her an email saying he is thinking about moving back, should I tell her that he has already been here for months? I feel like I am keeping something from her.
Dear Ms. Back in Whack,
As the best friend in this situation I understand how it seems like your duty to let her know that her douche of an ex husband has been living and working in town and has yet to even see his son, much less come clean to her. Your choices seem clear, in that you can spill the beans, since no one else has done it yet, or you can hold off until someone else does. If you tell her yourself, what would you get out of it? She will be upset of course, and she will vent to you about what a bad father he is to be so close but to not come and visit or take him for a weekend or whatever divorced people do these days. She will wonder why no one else told her earlier, making her relationships with other people worse. If you hold on until he tells her, or someone lets her know in passing that they saw him at the store, you are still going to be the shoulder she cries on, and you can support her without being the bearer of bad news. Other people have seen him, but you haven’t. Until you see him with your own eyes, it is just a rumor. When she finds out, tell her that you heard rumors but you didn’t want to say anything until you knew for sure and you will be in the clear put the focus where it should be, on how he is a sneaky dude. Best of luck, remember that you matter most!
Author of I’m Sorry, You are Not a Pick-Up Artist
photo credit here